Random Thoughts & Feelings

Is there a such thing as the perfect guy?

In our minds we all have an idea of what we think is the perfect guy. For some it's tall dark and handsome, while for others it's the all-american blonde and blue. It's kind of hard for me to describe my perfect guy because I don't have a specific or set type. Perfect is something that we all want in life or something very close to it. The perfect relationship, the perfect job, the perfect sex. . . . . . . . are just some of the things that we would like to be simply amazing. Bodies are another thing that we love to look at. We spend countless hours and tons of time sculpting what we see as the perfect body. We love to lust after what we don't have and what we wish to be. In our mind it's perfect but who's to say what is and what is not perfect. Things can be perfect in one aspect and something completely different in another. You can have the hottest guy in the world and even he might not be the one for you. The outter shell only goes so far and will only last for so long and a lot of guys fail to realize that. A boyfriend is supposed to care for you, be there for you, and help you not hurt you. Relationships are supposed to help you get through the hard times in life, ease the stress and make life more enjoyable. How can a partner do all of that if they're the one's causing the stress and the complicated things that fill your life?

I WANT YOU TO SEE THE OTHER SIDE OF ME

Sometimes I wonder how I come off to others. What comes across their minds when they see me? How do they take what I say or how I act? The reason why I find my self wondering these things the fact that evey guy I think about talking to and most of the guys that approach me only want to have sex with me and see me only as a sexual object. It really hurts when a guy you really like only wants to have sex with you. Yes, I would love to have sex with them, but 1- not right of the bat and 2- not if that's all it's ever going to be. If people actually took the time to get to know people and see the personality that lies within, they might actually find out that there is more to a person than just looks. Just because a person doesn't neccesarily have the perfect outter shell make them un-date-able unless you're that superficial. There is nothing wrong with the ocassional hookup. People need sex I get it, but don't come to me expecting to land one. Stick with me and see the other side of me. You might like what you find there and might end up getting what you want and a whole lot more.

I'll Keep Dancing On My Own. . . . . . .

I'm in the corner... watching you kiss him.... I'm right over here..... why don't you see me......

I'm trying so hard, but I'm not the guy you're taking home... I keep dancing on my own.

(Jealousy may be the ugliest trait Keri, but I'm jealous of the guys in that picture.)

I think I may be trying to hard to find someone, and maybe that's why I'm still dancing on my own. People say that I'm a pretty nice catch, but that doesn't seem to be the opinion of the guys that I tend to come across.

So far away but still so near.

Sometimes it's very frustrating when you're so close to something and so far away at the same time. This can be said in the terms of a long distance relationship, when you like someone but they don't know how you feel, or when you're trying so hard to obtain something or you're working toward something and the efforts seem like it's no use. I've found myself having interest in a guy and I'm starting to think that the fact that I can't see him is making me want to see him more. In the sense of being so far but near but near, we're within reasonable distance of one another, but there's always something that prevents us from being able to spend time together. Either I'm away at school or there is just no time to do anything whenever I'm home.

The fact that he seems genuinely excited when we talk and about spending time together makes me believe that the efforts in trying are still good for something. We're not to the point to where just spill our feelings to one another, but I wish I knew the feelings that he has for me if there are any at all.